I feel like this semester is going by so fast. I am learning so many good things about God.  I feel like I never could learn enough. I am encountering lots of great stuff about God, and I just cannot stop pursuing learning more about him.  At the same time, I kept struggling to find out the straight path to my future. As I was returning from a youth group program today, I sat in the car and thought about my future. I imagined how short our life is on this earth.  I asked in my heart, “God, okay, now two years in college, what is next?” The answer I received from the Lord was: it is not your business. Now, that I think about it, these were the same circumstances that the Apostle Peter were going through when he asked Jesus, “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?” (Acts 1: 6). Jesus’ reply was not for him to know neither time nor dates about the future.

Sometimes, little things like this can be frustrating when we lose focus on the Master of our life.  This happened to me last week because I was so focus on what I don’t have instead of being grateful with what I do have.  We had a wonderful and a powerful speaker from Dallas Theological Seminary come to speak to us last week. One thing that he said, which stuck with me the whole week was that trust comes through experience. As I thought about it throughout the week, I found it to be true in my life. I remember years ago how I would always go up on top of the mountain at 4am and pray that the Lord would bring me to MBI and do many other things in my
life. As I look back, it refocuses my strength on my creator king. I find my joy only when I can remember where I stand and who I serve.  If people who seem to have it all together on this earth cannot have joy with all they have, how can someone like me ever have joy?  The secret is that I know the source of joy.

Joy is not the absence of suffering or having it all easy. In fact, every single day of my life is a struggling for
me, but since I know this present life is not my destiny, I count it all for joy. I was writing a research paper for my Hermeneutic class, and I had to deal with more than six resources.   It was so hard turning pages and turning from one book to another, but as I watching myself doing this I thought to myself what an amazing grace from God that I am able to do this. I realized that our disability is not an excuse but an opportunity to
manifest the power and the handy work of God.  “I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). Only when I trust Him enough and am willing to act in spite of the circumstances I will see His strength.

Thanks to you all, for praying for my dad. He is out of the hospital, but still has the stomach ache once a while.
It is really hard to focus when you know family is not doing well. Thanks be to God that there have been some improvements so far. He who started the good work will finish it. Keep praying for my studies, and that I do as my Lord commands me. “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2: 15).  All the glory and honor be to God.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29: 11).  


  1. Robin Kriens

    Thank you Kesmy – you always teach me so much when I read what you have to say – your words hit my heart like an arrow – your words are His words and they resonate with me. You make me ashamed and yet grateful at the same time. I have so much and yet I whine to God. You are a reminder to me of how easy I have it in life. Thank you, Kesmy – maybe some day you should think about writing a book about your life story – you are a good writer and you speak right to the heart. Your words touch people! God bless you – I will pray for you right now!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *