With Patience He Guides my pen

Last night I thought about it, and found it hard to believe that I have not been writing on my blog for as long as it has been. I did not intend to spend that much time not blogging, for I do have a lot to talk about. God has been at work and doing many things in my life. However some of these times of not blogging are not spent in vain, because I have been reflecting a lot on my childhood life and writing memoir with a hope of coming out with a book one day. I had a very hard ending of the last semester of my under graduate career, but I cannot express enough in words how thankful I am to my God for this accomplishment at MBI. So many of you have followed my blog and prayed for me, and I want to share my joy and gratitude with you as well. First of all, I should say what a miracle it is that Jesus helped me graduate from college. God does give dreams to the dreamless. You see, for me it is undeniable. One cannot believe in Jesus and not believe in miracles. There is no limit to what he can do.
I believe God is sovereign in our lives, even when we have not yet chosen to follow him. Before my conversion, I never dreamed my life would be used to care for others. God, in his mystery, was working in a way that could have never made sense to me, even if someone had told me. I was searching for a false spirituality and a supreme being to have a relationship with, but I always thought the end goal of it all was that I would have a special power. I often heard my neighbors tell me that this power comes from the spirits. God, in his sovereignty, could see both the longing and the corruption that these stories I heard brought. He came to my rescue and showed me the true reality. The enemy almost destroyed my life, but God took the pieces and made me new, giving me a future. Before I lost my arms, I never thought of going to college, let alone having a future like the one he has given me. That tells you how I must have felt after I lost my arms. I thought it was the dead end of my hope. But now I see that he blesses me and calls me to be a shepherd as he continues to mold and shepherd me.
Today, I am overjoyed to celebrate God’s accomplishment in my life. It increases my sense of confidence in God’s power, love, and faithfulness to carry me through all the hardship. He has carried me through all the hard academic work, which causes many to be shocked by God’s power and smile at my accomplishment. I am still amazed that God allowed someone like me to graduate from Moody Bible Institute, one of the best undergraduate schools in the country. I know you are celebrating this just as much as I am. We serve the God who can do the impossible and make a way when there seems to be none.
Did I ever imagine I would graduate from such a great school? No. But, I have learned in the journey that God’s power comes through humility. Sometimes our weakness is the doorway for God’s power to work in our lives. It is not without frustration, hardship, fear, and sense of uncertainty. I find strength through my weaknesses in the power of God. My ability comes from nothing other than God’s own sufficient grace. I think back to the very first day after my handicap that I set my foot in school. I was excited to be among others seeking a sense of equality. God’s grace has shone through the teachers as they sought ways to help the other student sees me as an equal. That is because they knew God’s own heart. He sees all humans as equals. He does not define us by looks or by our abilities. My weakness does not define me. I am defined by a Loving father, the creator of the universe. He made me and knows what I am capable of. He knows what he is up to in my life. I do not create my future. I am just called to walk in it. This is why Jeremiah 29:11 has been such a meaningful verse in my life. Oh, how I can remember, sitting among many others who had beautiful handwriting and I had just began. I wondered if I would ever make it, writing with my lips making little circles, little “A’s”. At that point, it seemed like an endless journey. In those moments there are always two routes to take. One is to give up and be overtaken by one’s hopelessness. The other is to cry to God, be real with him, welcome him in your suffering, and ask him for patience. The God who is patience was working. He inspired me with hope and with patience. I have heard people say, “Believe your future is in your hand,” but I say the opposite, “Believe in Him, because your future is in His hand.” Have faith in Him and act on your faith with the confidence He has given you. I have chosen to be diligent, to live, and to walk in the path he laid out before me despite my infirmity. Oh, how foolish it would be to think that I could be who I am today without the courage, patience, faith, and boldness that comes from above. It does not come easily, without stress, without struggle, or without suffering. It is not possible without being diligently committed. As one of my heroes, D.L Moody says, “I want the world to see what God can do with a man who truly committed his life to him”.
Just as life is real, our pain is real. Our suffering can be our way to redemption and hope, or to our despair and devastation. In this life, we sometimes feel there is no need to try because hopelessness and hardship have blinded us, but sometimes the best choice is to realize we must cry out to someone. We realize we can’t do this in our own strength. This is when Christ comes and fills us with hope. He gives us His Spirit, which gives us courage, confidence, and hope. He guides my pen with courage. I thank Jesus for his work in my life and for all of you who have been praying for me. Please continue to pray for me as I start my new journey at Wheaton Bible College to work toward my master’s degree. My encouragement to you is to give your hopelessness, your weakness, your suffering, and your tears to Jesus. He will mold you and give you patience, endurance, courage, faith in action, and hope to live.