What have I done this month and what has God been doing in my life? I know you are all waiting to hear what I have been up to this month. I know it has been a while, but here it goes. The Lord has blessed me in so many ways this semester. All my classes are very interesting. I am still surviving so far. Thanks to God who is my strength. I was touring with the moody men’s collegiate choir in Illinois on the 13th-16th of January. It was lots of fun singing praises to God and worshiping Him. We held several concerts in churches around Illinois. This is a very amazing way of starting the semester. It was a great experience, and the Lord blessed our time and gave us a safe journey. I am blessed to be in the men’s choir. It was a blessed time through music and friendship and, most of all, the presence of God.

The week after the winter tour with the Men’s choir did not go well for me. I had a cold, thanks to God it did not last for too long. Before that, I fell while playing soccer and hurt my head and shoulder. I was sore for a while. Thanks to God I am much better now. In spite of everything, I am very bless and feel very bless at Moody. As I spent my times with God these weeks, I keep looking back in my life as I imagined where I am now, I feel like God has been always working in my life in a linear line. God is always there even when I am in despair. I still have lots of question unanswered. As I was praying today, I thought about one thing that people often struggle with: worshiping God in midst of suffering. Do we have an excused not to worshiping God because we are in pain? The reason I want to address this issue is because I am one of those who struggle everyday with everyday life. There are times I feel I cannot endure the pain of this world anymore. Sometimes, I wish I was dead to this world. God still let me live in this world, therefore, I am still bound to live for His purpose which is to worship Him and bring Him glory.

There are two types of worshipers, the worshiper of self, and the godly worshiper (righteous worshiper). The righteous worshipper is completely different from the self worshipper.  However, righteous worship does not only occur in the absence of suffering.  Christians often regard themselves above God in order to escape challenges or painful circumstances.  This is not the case for the genuine worshipper.  The righteous sufferer worships God alone—even in the midst of tribulation. Job in his suffering understands that God is in control when he cries out to God by saying, “…the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD” (Job 1:21). In his trails, the righteous man cries to God instead of taking the easy way out. Since worship is sometimes expressed in emotion, the righteous sufferer will often need to worship God in his tears. He must let go of his will and cry out to God for faith and strength to accomplish it. Christ did that.

The night before Christ was ready to be arrested and crucified, he prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done. An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground” (Luke 22:42-44). Jesus chose to cry and die in order to proclaim the glory of God instead of avoiding pain. This is something the worldly man cannot do. God wants our cries and happiness; it shows a complete surrender to him as an act of worship. “Our response to any sort of suffering should show God being most glorified in us because, in spite of our suffering, we are resting most satisfied in Him. It shows that we have placed our ultimate hope in God, both in the sense of our trusting him to work everything for our good” (Storms). God has given me the opportunity to be an example to others by worshiping Him in the midst of suffering.  People often asked me, “How do you feel living without arms?” My response often is, “It is not my business.” Why do I say that? I am not my own, I am created for a purpose. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). If He has made me this way in order to accomplish His purpose, let it be done. It is not easy.  Sometimes all I can do is cry to Him for support in order to accomplish what I must do. This is the response of worship: when the righteous man realizes that he depends on God alone, and cries to him when things are tough.

The righteous man not only chooses to worship God when suffering from sickness and disease, but even when being persecuted for doing God’s will. John Piper, in his book Desiring God, talks about a Romanian pastor who was arrested because of worshiping God:

He became the leader in the underground church. In 1948 he and his wife, Sabina, were arrested, and he served fourteen years in Red Prisons, including three years in solitary confinement in a subterranean cell, never seeing the sun, the stars, or flowers. He saw no one except his guards and torturers.

The righteous man knows God is in control, and that he can only be persecuted to the limit which God allows. When Jesus was arrested to be crucified by Pontius Pilate, Pilate told him, “Don’t you realize that I have the power to release you or crucify you” (John 19:10b)? Jesus responded: “You would have no power over me at all unless it were given to you from above” (John 19:11a). This is the reason the righteous one worships God only. He understands that God has full control and is sovereign over all. Therefore, when he is persecuted, he trusts God and worships him in the midst of the situation.  John Piper states, “Worship must be vital and real in the heart, and worship must rest on a true perception of God.” Understanding more of God is the power of the true worshipper. The understanding of God’s love, power, and justice gives the worshipper courage to worship even in the midst of trial and persecution. In fact, John Piper goes on in his book and states, “The deep things of life in God are discovered in suffering.” In my own experience with God, I have found this statement by Piper to be very true. Through my difficulty, I discover more of God’s goodness and his love: “the deep things of life.”

Once more, worship is not always as enjoyable as many people think it is. It can be peaceful at times, and is often pleasant, but we Christians need to know beforehand that God has called His children to worship in every time and situation. Stoms said, suffering is thus obviously relevant to Christian hedonism. If Christians don’t embrace the reality of suffering in the world, but only continue to put on a façade of happiness, the secular world will doubt the authenticity of the Christian’s faith and even the power of our God. By worshipping God in the midst of suffering, the righteous man displays through his life in the midst of a secular world that there is a true God.

A true worshipper is proved by his actions in the midst of sufferings and trials. However, the most common type of worship is praising through singing, dancing, and proclamation, which all Christians tend to do and enjoy. Gedritis once said that people often worship in singing or dancing just for looks, but when facing opposition or difficulty they renounce their faith. This is not to say that singing is not an act of worship, but that singing does not always point towards a true heart of worship. Sometimes, it is fun to go with the flow of singing because it sounds sweet to the ear, but without the right motives, it is only singing. Nevertheless, singing is a very important act of worship when it is rooted in the innermost part of the heart and soul. Piper writes, “The engagement of the heart in worship is the coming alive of the feelings and emotions and affections of the heart. Where feelings for God are dead, worship is dead.”  Moreover, we learn that many times David sang to the Lord.

In the same way the righteous man worships God through singing. He sings to express his feelings or emotions to God to tell God how grateful he is or to express his joy before God. Singing praises to God can sometimes remove the emotion of stress. David wrote, “Sing the praises of the LORD, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:4-5). As a righteous man, David understood that life would be hard at times, but that could not stop him from singing praises to God. He wept, but he knew that God’s joy would not fail him. The righteous sufferer sings when he focuses on the future and lets go of the past.

Sometimes, I have moments in my life where I see everything in a darker light, but I learn to worship God even in those dark moments because I know He is in control. I find, in these moments, that the most amazing way to ask God to intervene is through singing. Kauflin raises a question that every righteous sufferer might ask: “What size does God appear to be when our mind is preoccupied with all the cares, worries and concern of life?” God is not limited in His power and his love. Why even worry when we know he created us in the first place because of love. Knowing the God that we serve can give us the joy we need in life in spite of our difficulty. We know His greatness, faithfulness, and his love for every child He created.  We know he deserves all praises; therefore, we sing His praises.

Just as praise is expressed through singing, it is also expressed through dancing. In one article by Lucinda Coleman, she mention that, “In the Hebrew tradition, dance functioned as a medium of prayer and praise, as an expression of joy and reverence, and as a mediator between God and humanity.” All God’s people know how to dance.  Sometimes, the righteous man can be in such a mood of worship, but no words can express his feelings; all he can do is dance before God. Dancing is such a shameful act to many people, but for a true worshipper there is no place for such a feeling even when life is hard. The righteous worshipper knows that God is his reward and, moreover, that God deserves all praises.  Therefore, he is not ashamed to dance before God.  This dancing is not necessarily “dancing” as the world might understand it.  Rather, it is an outward expression of one’s overflowing love for God.  Peterson interprets David’s psalm 30: 11-12 like this, “Anger becomes favor. Weeping is exchanged for joy. Mourning is turned into dancing. Grim sackcloth is discarded for God’s garment of gladness. The silent soul suddenly becomes loquacious with praise.” When dancing before God, the worshipper praises Him even in spite of past suffering.

In addition to singing and dancing, the worshipper communicates daily with God through prayer. Prayer is an essential part of worshiping God. “Prayer is a self-determined, conscious opening of our heart to God. It is not the words we use in prayer that are important” (Williams). It is pouring out one’s heart before God with the right attitude.

The righteous one prays to tell God that he needs help, to tell God that he loves him, or to carry on another conversation. Worship always starts with prayer. Prayer is the foundation of worship. The more one prays to God, the better worshipper he becomes. To worship someone, one needs to know that person. Prayer is simply a means of talking to God. Friends understand each other by speaking to one another.  This works the same way for the worshipper and God. Paul even encourages the Christians to pray. He writes, “ With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints” (Ephesians 6:18). By saying “at all times,” Paul also implies anywhere, not just when the believers assemble. Mack Tomlinson talks in one of his articles called “Worship and Pray,” about a woman who was in a hospital bed, and, therefore, worshiped only through prayer. After a year, her relationship with God not only grew, but healing came as well. The righteous worshipper learns to live a life of prayer. How futile would it be to have a friendship with someone without communication?

The righteous man authentically worships God in every aspect of his life. It is not something we just perform occasionally, but it is rather a lifestyle. Kauflin said, “I don’t ever want people who see me lead worship publicly to be surprised by the way I live privately. It’s not my songs that define my worship; it’s my life.” This is very crucial in our walk with God. Why is this? It is because the world worships as well. They sing and dance, but the difference between our worship and theirs will be reflected in the lifestyle.

The righteous man worships in his walk with God. His walk reflects the character of God. He learns to love and care for others as God loves and cares for him. Jesus says in John 13:35, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” The true worshiper cares for community like his God cares for his creation. Jonathan Edwards says, “All that belongs to Holiness of heart is the very nature of true Christianity.” In speaking of this, Edwards is referring to all the good character that a man should possess.

Every man seeks to worship something, but the righteous man worships God alone in the midst of suffering: through his tears, his praises, and his life. The righteous man always worships through his words. All of his words, even those used in casual conversation, will point to God. He understands that worship is a lifestyle, not a one-time thing. It is not just something you do on Sunday morning. Modern Christians often think of worship as something they do one day and wait for the next day or month to start again. It is more than singing and dancing. Worship is something that every man owes to God. Every man was created for the purpose of worshipping God, but not all men choose to do that.  The righteous man chooses to worship God diligently in every area of life.





“For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).  


  1. Bob Coder


    Joyce and I are blessed to see you doing so well and that you are being blessed by the Lord! You are an inspiration to many and we pray that the light of the Lord chases away all of your dark moments.

    In Him,

  2. Robin Kriens

    Kesmy – I am just reading your post this morning and continue to be amazed at the depth of your walk with the Lord. You humble me and also impart wisdom – so much of what you have learned and share is of help to me in my life. Thank you! If you posts are touching me, I have to believe that they would speak to countless others. Perhaps you could compile your posts as some time in your life and make a book or something similar. You have much to offer this world. God bless you, Kesmy. I continue to pray for you in the request that you called me about.

    Your friend,

    PS: At the end of January, first part of February, my husband and I went with a team to Dominican Republic to work in the village of Los Robles. Please pray for me as I have a PowerPoint presentation for Awana tonight and then again in a couple of weeks to the church. Thank you!

    • Thank you Robin for your encouragement and your prayers. I will definitely pray for you. I know God will use you change so many lives and bring many souls to him. God bless you. In Christ, Kesmy


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *